Dog: Pompei (Pomeranian) – Philippines​

Dog: Pompei (Pomeranian) – Sep 14, 2014 to Jul 19, 2016

I remember the day that I first saw you. You were so lovely and vulnerable. Your eyes were so expressive. When you look at me, straight to my eyes all the way deep down to my heart, and I knew you were trying to tell me that you want me to have you, care for you and love you. It was the same time I knew that I want to keep you, protect you, care for you and take you with me. And that’s it.

Our house was filled with so much love, fun, and warmth. My precious baby Pompei, my only boy came to our lives .He made me feel safe, happy, and loved. His ears were often the first things to catch my tears. He is always there for me. He was with me through thick or thin. We went through a lot together. He never loved or cared for me any less. He never went away.

As he grew comfortable with us, that’s when he decided to show his true colors. Sometimes he was a total menace! He ate my shoes, chord of my charger and even the Internet chord! He manages to escape our gate every time he had a chance. ALL the time and we had to go looking for him, or he would find his way back home.

He tore up the bag of food and I couldn’t help but laugh because when I came home and saw the mess he ran up and jumped on me like everything was peachy. Yes, I cleaned it up and every other mess he did I cleaned that too. Although sometimes he was a complete terror I still loved him and spoiled him.

He was never allowed on my bed because of all the shedding so I told him, “Go to your bed!” And he did. But in the morning when I would wake, he was there snoring away. I couldn’t help but smile and let it slide…just like the other nights that came and went.

I took him to the dog park where he humped every dog in sight and I was so embarrassed but laughed anyways. He had fun and enjoyed the park and our walks.

My favorite memory of him was when we were all laying on my bed and he was in a deep sleep and started dreaming. He kicked and whimpered so hard that he fell off the bed and I laughed so hard till the tears came falling down. He shook it off and climbed back up and went back to sleep; sleeping closer to me, away from the edge.

That fateful night when we were about to sleep, I put him in his bed but I noticed something strange. I knew he was in pain. I wasn’t able to sleep that night. I stayed up with him because he was in pain and restless and neither of us got any sleep even though I had to work the next day.

When morning came, we rushed him to the hospital and I was carrying him trying to be strong and tell him, he’s going to be okay.

We got to the clinic and it was there where we received the bad news: his kidney was failing and toxins that his kidney fails to filters poisoned his blood. I bawled like a baby, strong in my will to keep you alive. Searching options: researching other alternatives but there was none. I didn’t want to end his life; he was only almost 2 years old, so young and energetic and full of life. I couldn’t do that. I love him so much; I couldn’t let him go.

He was so happy and playful but how fast was that replaced by suffering. It’s unbearable to see him loose his energy and spirit. If only love was enough to protect him from pain.

I wanted to be selfish for my sake, I want to keep him with me for as long as I could but I couldn’t do that to him either. I wanted him to see my face and my tears and hear my words before he closed his eyes.

And then I lost you. I lost my beloved boy. A million times I called his name, a million times I cried. If love alone could have saved him he never would have died.

I did not just lose a pet. I lost a family member. I lost the one who understands me. Who stays with me all the time when I feel happy or sad… The one who’s there for me… The one who greets me all the time… The one who wants me all the time.

Every day I think of all the memories I had with him. Every day I wonder if he still love me and remember me. I still find myself calling his name sometimes, whenever my other pets do something wrong, or when they are outside and tears stream down my face.

Whether you are losing a person or losing a dog the suffering is the same. The core of that pain is the way your world changes and the emptiness you feel when someone leaves you.

It’s slowly sinking it, he is not coming back. I miss the liveliness he bring in the house, the wagging tails when I come home, the sweet faces I put to bed and the fuzziness every morning. If only I could turn back time, Id take away all his pain.

You are so beautiful baby Pompei. I am already missing that sweet face. How did our world change so quickly? It kills my soul not to have him here with me but thankfully I have my memories. Pompei, you will be forever missed and loved. I love you so much. Nothing will ever take your place. You were my “something special”. You were my big boy and now you can be forever young.

You go now and follow the light it shall lead you to paradise where your body will be restored. No more pain just running around all you want. Keep mommy’s love inside you. And when it’s my time please you come running to me. RUN MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER.

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